Is this wasted time?

I never thought I would be at this stage in my life. It felt like i was never going to grow up and create the life I wanted. But does anyone know the life they want? As I ate sushi at one of my favorite resaurants here in MI, Alli and I discused this stage of our lives. I don't feel like i'm making a difference. I feel like I've been one of those transition people that are great until you get the person you really want. I led worship at one of our other churches this last week. It was fun i really enjoyed it. But, the whole time I was thinking about what the pastors were really wanting. Am I what they really wanted. Who knows I never see or talk to them. I'm realizing more and more each day that I need people around me. Not people who want to just talk about church stuff. Sometimes I don't want to talk about anything important. Sometimes I long for someone to say Holly how are you? and then stick around for the true answer. It's dangerous for a persons whos love language is quality time to be left alone. I hate being alone and hate feeling that the two years I have lived here is just wasted time. Am I going to be another Sara. When I leave are people going to care. Not just for what I do but who I am?