through painted deserts....

I don't question my decision to move and search for something new. not just something new but something that's been sculpted just for me. So I'm questioning what's going to happen when I get to the next place in my life. It has been years since I thought of what I want to do. I was talking to a friend the other day and she asked me something like what my dreams and desires are for my life and what's sad is that I don't know. I've never been one to plan out my life. If I could do anything in the world right now with no limitations I have no clue what I would do. How do you find your dreams and desires. I know that God will give us our hearts desires but will he give it to us even though we don't know what they are? I do know for sure that the only way to find what I'm looking for I need to leave. So many people are questioning why I'm leaving and I think this should be my answer.
"everybody, every person , has to leave, has to change like seasons; they have to or they will die. The seasons remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God's way... Everybody has to change, or they expire. Everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons." - Donald Miller "Through Painted Deserts".
I feel the urgency I must change or I will die. maybe not die physically but spiritually, emotionally. I don't want to go through life feeling numb anymore.

Seasons….

There is nothing like the colors and smells of autumn. I love this time of year. It’s not too cold but cold enough to where a scarf everyday. Not only are the trees changing colors and the weather is changing I feel like everyone I know is in the midst of a new season or their at the end of a season and next season is going to begin soon. I love that I’m not the only one beginning something new. I’ve been trying to think and imagine what me life is going to be like in this next season but I can’t see what it’s going to be like. Sometimes trusting the Lord is easier said than done. I feel like I have butterflies in my stomach 24/7. It’s exciting and scary and yet I’m engulfed in His peace and I’ve never felt more secure than I do right now. So bring on the new colors and the cooler weather I’m ready to embrace this next season.